Puffy The Frog

© 1988 Barry A. Warsaw

Once there was a huge lemon flavored elephant named Puffy the Frog. He was named Puffy the Frog because, although he was yellowishly tinted, and tasted vaguely of lemon, he smelt like a huge dung heap. In ancient Persia, dung was associated with frogs for no apparent reason, yet this is the case nonetheless.

You may ask, why he was called Puffy, but you wouldn’t ask this question if you saw him. He was indeed quite puffy in a lemony yet distasteful kind of way. I’m sorry, I forgot to mention that he was extremely distasteful to most people, animals, rocks and general matter/energy contructions in the universe. In fact, Puffy the Frog was so distasteful to most higher organizations in the universe, that they all ganged up on Puffy the poor Frog, who was really a lemony elephant, and punctured his belly with an air hose, inflating him with helium to the point that his yellowishly tinted, lemony yet dung heap smelling, extremely distasteful flesh was stretch to just under its tensile breaking point.

And thus he was left on a deserted island in the pacific, far from any other land mass, skin perfectly balanced between molecular cohesiveness and outward pressure, until a random micro-meteor pierced his dermis just above his scrotal sac. The resulting elephantine explosion was the talk of the universe for millennia.